Unspoken Messages…
I am really learning to appreciate being me. That’s a big thing for me. I tend to be really hard on myself, but I am relaxing. I am not striving for perfection, for everyone to like me or to be understood by everyone. I am just me. And it's wonderful. Someone once said that when they read my blog it didn't seem real or personable. Too much bible, etc, etc. What I got was that I didn't spill enough of my business. You know juicy stuff. I figure they just need to stop reading cause' they don't get me anyway. I'm not going to change. I like me. I relate everything to the word because I realize here is an element of me in every story in there. If I was to pick a chapter that I was living right now, It would definitely be EXODUS. Right dab in chapter 3. But I digress...
Now, after making the decision to really do what it’s going to take to accomplish my goals this year, Number one on the list was to get physically fit. I lost some weight when I got here, but I failed to neither maintain it nor even tone it all up. I want the full package-fit, toned, and physically fit. I never considered myself overweight, just not in shape like I once was. Now, with old mindset, I would’ve said that I got too busy taking care of everyone else to take care of me. That’s not it to me though; somewhere along the line I stopped loving me.
I have to accept responsibility for the fact that I put others before me in the grand scheme of things. G-d had to tell me one day that you can tell how much a person loves them self by the care in which they are willing to take of themselves. Hmmm—that hurt-but it was true. So, since getting that little tidbit, I have been faithfully working out to get me in the best shape I can possibly be. The plus side is that I am no longer sending that unspoken message to my children that it’s okay to forget about you. I never said that, but failing to make the healthiest eating choices and by not exercising, that’s essentially what I have been saying silently.
I am really learning to appreciate being me. That’s a big thing for me. I tend to be really hard on myself, but I am relaxing. I am not striving for perfection, for everyone to like me or to be understood by everyone. I am just me. And it's wonderful. Someone once said that when they read my blog it didn't seem real or personable. Too much bible, etc, etc. What I got was that I didn't spill enough of my business. You know juicy stuff. I figure they just need to stop reading cause' they don't get me anyway. I'm not going to change. I like me. I relate everything to the word because I realize here is an element of me in every story in there. If I was to pick a chapter that I was living right now, It would definitely be EXODUS. Right dab in chapter 3. But I digress...
Now, after making the decision to really do what it’s going to take to accomplish my goals this year, Number one on the list was to get physically fit. I lost some weight when I got here, but I failed to neither maintain it nor even tone it all up. I want the full package-fit, toned, and physically fit. I never considered myself overweight, just not in shape like I once was. Now, with old mindset, I would’ve said that I got too busy taking care of everyone else to take care of me. That’s not it to me though; somewhere along the line I stopped loving me.
I have to accept responsibility for the fact that I put others before me in the grand scheme of things. G-d had to tell me one day that you can tell how much a person loves them self by the care in which they are willing to take of themselves. Hmmm—that hurt-but it was true. So, since getting that little tidbit, I have been faithfully working out to get me in the best shape I can possibly be. The plus side is that I am no longer sending that unspoken message to my children that it’s okay to forget about you. I never said that, but failing to make the healthiest eating choices and by not exercising, that’s essentially what I have been saying silently.
I was once concerned about us not going to church in this season was going to have some kind of negative affect on them. I explained to them when we arived that G-d has given to every man a place, and ours was not here. I wondered if they understood that. They do. I’ve noticed that they know when my broadcast is on and they respect those times during the week. I hadn’t realized how much they noticed things like that I continue to pray everyday and I still read my bible. But I’ve noticed that the boys have theirs in the bed next to them when I go to check on them at night before I go to sleep. They are reading theirs at night too. Though I never said it, they are learning that relationship with G-d is personal and not related to the church at all. That has given me great peace about them. If they get that now, they’ll never be caught up in the church game of obligation later on.
In retrospect I get that my actions as a parent will speak louder and clearer than what I say out of my mouth and those will be the lessons that they remember. Words come a dime a dozen. I remember the first time I realized that my parents were being what is considered to be hypocritical. Telling me not to do things that they themselves were clearly doing. It angered me to the point where I no longer believed anything that they said. Parental trust is the one thing a child should be able to count on. I am always aware that in whatever I do, I am always teaching them something. Spoken or unspoken. I may not always get it right the first time, but I will continue to try until I do.
There are a couple of other things in my life that need major renovations so that the wrong message is not conveyed. This is why I must learn to transfer all areas of trust back to G-d so that I can do whatever I need to do at all time.
The great thing about G-d is that he gave us this power to change and to create. If I don’t like who I am or the direction that I am going, I can simply start over and create a new experience. That power is limitless. And it knows no preference—so I can create good or bad things. I choose to create what I want to see and nothing less than what I actually want. I told you, in this season I am working first on my thinking. There is no need to change my behavior without renovation there first. Until next time...
In retrospect I get that my actions as a parent will speak louder and clearer than what I say out of my mouth and those will be the lessons that they remember. Words come a dime a dozen. I remember the first time I realized that my parents were being what is considered to be hypocritical. Telling me not to do things that they themselves were clearly doing. It angered me to the point where I no longer believed anything that they said. Parental trust is the one thing a child should be able to count on. I am always aware that in whatever I do, I am always teaching them something. Spoken or unspoken. I may not always get it right the first time, but I will continue to try until I do.
There are a couple of other things in my life that need major renovations so that the wrong message is not conveyed. This is why I must learn to transfer all areas of trust back to G-d so that I can do whatever I need to do at all time.
The great thing about G-d is that he gave us this power to change and to create. If I don’t like who I am or the direction that I am going, I can simply start over and create a new experience. That power is limitless. And it knows no preference—so I can create good or bad things. I choose to create what I want to see and nothing less than what I actually want. I told you, in this season I am working first on my thinking. There is no need to change my behavior without renovation there first. Until next time...
Be Blessed.
Chosen.
posted by Chosen at
11:19 PM
2 Comments:
"If I don’t like who I am or the direction that I am going, I can simply start over and create a new experience. That power is limitless."
That's very powerful and true. I wish more people (including myself) knew and understood that. We always feel like we are bound by some certain lifestyle or pattern.
I used to think that whatever I had or wherever I was--was it until something better came along...now I understand that I can take a different direction and begin to do things a whole new way. We are bound only to our fear of the changes and to our beleifs about where we are. Once you challenge them, it's easier to make changes.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home