Friday, May 26, 2006

Survival of the fittest…

Yesterday I was having a moment. Granted, I don’t really allow myself to do that too often because it’s too dramatic for my tastes. Nevertheless, I allowed myself to do so yesterday for the sake of release. Yes, the preacher has the “I wanna give up days” as well. I tend to rant at G-d and then he politely reminds me of what I have been standing for and so I collect myself and realize that if I wanted minor stuff I would already have it.

I have to tell you that I have been blessed by the presence of some fellow bloggers. This morning I thought of something Serenity said and it I had to kind of chant it to myself. The both of us are in the process of purchasing a home and someone from my church home has beautiful home that they would like to show us that is only a year old. The purchasing options are favorable and everything. The only thing is…it costs less than the figure I know Father gave me. A lot less. And it has one less bedroom than I have been believing for. Now my husband and I actually agree that this is not the time to start settling. But for some odd reason I really want to see this home. Not because I am nosy or anything, but because It could be an in the mean time blessing. Then I remember that Serenity was talking about waiting for what she wanted. I can’t tell you how she blessed me with this: "I can't settle for anything less than what he promised and that's no matter what the circumstances dictate". That’s it right there.

That’s where I am right now. I know what he told me. I know what my credit looks like but I also know what my father told me. It was a rhema word. I know that what he says out of his mouth is a guarantee! I have been through hell and high water and I refuse to take anything less than what he told me. The enemy will have you get all worked up like the schedule is off. Nahhh…it’s not off. I simply have to figure out where the house he wants me to have and who to do the deal through. Truth be told, I don’t want a mortgage anyway! I have been standing for a debt free house and I know that sounds radical, but it’s nothing for the wealth that my Father holds! Shoot...Scripture says that the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and adds no sorrow!(Proverbs 10:22) Plus, I just heard a testimony of the bank turning down a couple and the same day someone offered them their house--more house then they were looking for and the people are paying all closing costs, they are carrying the loan themselves and they offered to put all new furniture in as a gift! That’s what I’m talking about! So why would I settle? The devil is a lie!

So yesterday, I needed that moment to put it all in perspective. The enemy is counting on us giving up near the finish line. I can’t stop now. This is a race. A fixed race. Obviously, the enemy has not read the whole book. I win. I’m always gonna win. I just have to keep running.
I did go to service last night. My spiritual father was on a much needed break. But the word was still powerful. And it hit me right where I was. It was all about the valley experience. That’s where I am . But praise G-d I’m going through!

On another note…did I tell you my mother has joined my church? Yeah. It’s been a couple of months now. It’s still vexing me though. It’s weird she talks to people and listens to what they say, but she talks over me. Ahhh…well I have learned my lesson. I’m happy she’s getting the word, but I would really like for her to get it somewhere else. I know that sounds awful, but our relationship is too strained to even begin to pretend that it’s not. When people give me compliments she gushes as if she is in agreement. I guess she thinks I don’t know her or something. Last night I saw her having a full fledge conversation with a woman I know doesn’t like me. Why I have no idea--I think it has to do with her children. She treats one a little funny and I just try to make sure I give her an extra hug and a compliment. She’s just a 4 year old that reminds me of me and my own mother. I guess something happened to the little girl at home and so she told her mother she was going to tell me. What? I didn’t tell her to say that! If that’s her reason she needs to visit the mirror. It’s not my fault that child thought she had to tell me something.

Anyway…I saw my mother having an engaging conversation with this person last night. It was dark so I guess she didn’t think that anyone would see her. Well, I saw her! I know they don’t think it will matter to start some mess, but I really don’t think either of them want to test me. I usually look past her, but she has been really getting to me lately. I'm trying not to get in the flesh. However, I thank G-d for them because they will shape me into who G-d wants me to be and ultimately promote me. Yeah, Goliath and later Saul promoted David. They helped him be a better warrior and ultimately a better king. But ummmm…I hope thy know some areas of me are still under deep, deep construction. My spiritual father has already warned us all of that with people in general. I thank G-d that he allows wheat to grow up with the chaff, but did they not read the rest of that chapter? Whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly purge his floor, and will gather the wheat into his garner; but the he will burn with fire unquenchable Luke 3:17

Stay tuned….

Be blessed. Chosen.


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