I have seen myself and it is ugly…

Having a lot of kids is the best thing to me! I always wanted to be a mother and have a big family so when people ask me what’s it like, I can’t really explain it. I don’t have a hard time keeping up with them or anything and 5 isn’t a lot to me. So, I really don’t understand what they are trying to ask me. Once you have two adding on is easy. Don’t laugh, but I still expect to add to this clan. One day. (hey, I’m still young).

Now, Each of my children are different yet they are the same. I know you are wondering how is that so I’ll explain. With each one the pregnancies are relatively the same and the last two even came out in labor the same--with their right hands up. (yeah--I have been trying figure that one out too). Victory? Overcoming? No one knows but them and G-d so far. They all for the most part look just alike. They all love books and writing and anything crafty(they get that from me).

But ummm…lately I have noticed that the baby is bossy. I don’t mean just bossy but the bully kind of bossy. To the point where she has her finger all in the other children’s faces and pushes them and when they don’t share their stuff she has been known to jump on the boys and wear them out. Now, right now they find this funny, but she’s not a little girl now, so imagine in 6 months. Where did that come from? You have to really get on my nerves to get me to fight because I walk away from ignorance. And it is definitely not her daddy because he is far more patient than I am. (He thinks everything they do is funny).

Back to what I was saying, the baby girl B.K.A "Baby Diva", is an absolute mess right? I mean she is 18 months old and I have to argue with her! She has decided that it is her mission to keep everyone in line and she does not take no for an answer. Now, where is she getting all of this from? I mean I can be bossy, but only at home because 5 require upkeep in the discipline department. I do jack my kids up anywhere because some times an ounce of embarrassment goes a long way. Besides when you are busy, you can forget to spank later on. I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten home and gotten busy cooking and forgot and then have to resort to a lesser punishment because the spanking point has passed. And I hate that. That whipping cements my words.

But today, I realized that this girl is me up a few notches. I mean she kept jacking the boys up when I said something to them. Telling them to shut up, and popping them. She got on my nerves! And then it hit me, if this is in me, it’s ugly. I think G-d was simply trying to show me what is in me. He knows what really in there, I know I don’t. Proverbs 16:2 says All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits. He sees this in me. This is an early alert.

I need to keep myself in check. And consequently I have to keep the baby in check too. The sad thing is that I realize now, that all of them have been this bossy at this age. It’s a shame it took me this long to see it. The great news is that I know this is a phase. This bossy thing is always replaced by the sweetest disposition. And I don’t say that because they are mine, but because they really are all sweet kids. They do stuff like all other kids, but they are genuinely all sweet. Another great thing is I am on the watch now to make sure I don’t go the 5 notches that I see in the baby right now. See, I tell people all the time, G-d has an incredible sense of humor.


Be Blessed.
Chosen.