Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Getting some stuff of my chest…

First I have to say this--
I have been missing here for a second. I am busy. I have tons of obligations right now and so I have simply been lurking on other peoples blogs. I was enjoying doing just that. I was really thinking about moving my spot and only allowing a select few know where I was going to. NOT! I like right where I am. Obviously somewhere along the line I have offended some people since I received a wonderfully strange e-mail from someone yesterday. I want to first say that it is never my intent to be ugly or say ugly things to or about anyone. Nor am I trying to be holier than thou or self-righteous whatever some of you feel I may be. I realize I will not please everybody nor do I desire to. Some of you just need to stop coming over here if it pisses you off like that. If I’m visiting you spot and you would prefer that I don’t, let me know, I’ll stop visiting. Hell, I won’t lose no sleep over it--I’m too busy to let that bother me. You can reach me at Rhemawordwriter@bellsouth.net if you have an issue.


Now that I have said that…
This whole issue reminds me of being a child and having adults say negative things about me. It was fine when they said things about me to me because then I could just ignore them or stay my distance from them. But It was always the ones that I was always blessed to overhear them saying negative things about me. They were hidden in their actions, but they were always uncovered. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that the word is a discerner of the intents and thoughts of the heart. Mines and others. That’s a great motivation for my staying in the word. But imagine if you will being 9 or 10 and people saying things about you based on who your mother is or whatever. Shoot, I remember being younger than that and hearing stuff. It always hurt my feelings. I would go home and cry and ask G-d why. Weird thing is I still often overhear people saying stuff. Only now, I don’t cry.


Those people have caused me to be quite calloused towards people. I have a mistrust for people. I am always wondering about their motives. It really doesn’t bother me to have people dislike me. However, I don’t seek to offend anyone, but I also don’t feel inclined to kiss butt either. It’s the reason that after any given service at church you’ll find me talking to the children in our ministry and rarely the adults. I stand in the lobby or the parking lot and even in the sanctuary talking to children. I know all of their names and I have plenty of time to listen to them talk about whatever. They have the most interesting things to say and I find that a lot of them are listening to the word going forth. I love children and I don’t care whether I know their mother dislikes me or not. (Men don’t have an issue with me, they never have). The really weird thing is that even people that G-d has revealed don’t like me will still ask me to watch their children while they go to the rest room or to their car. What‘s up with that?


A couple of weeks ago I told a teenage girl sitting behind me who decided to laugh and mock when another young lady shouted and praised G-d, to never do that. It’s dangerous to laugh and talk about people that are going through. (check the record 2 Samuel 6:16-23) She was a little teed off, but I only spoke because G-d said so and I said it nicely. Otherwise I would have walked on past her on my out of service. It wasn’t as If it had been the first time I noticed older children doing that and her especially. But they are kids you know? The bible says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child (Prov 22:15). They are expected to do some things that are silly like that. Here she was normally happy to chat with me, and now she has the attitude that most children have after being corrected. I can deal with that it’ll pass. She’ll get over that. But the adults?…
Recently my SF preached and he said that people either have an honorable assignment in our lives or a dishonorable one. They are either here to pour into us or cause us the hurt and pain that propels us to our destinies. All of those people in my life as a child and the ones in my life now are helping me. Enemies cause me to fast and consecrate myself. They make me stay in prayer and in constant communication with G-d. They are helping me become the woman that G-d created me to be in the first place. What people don’t realize is that they are being manipulated by my prophecy. They aren’t hurting me they are setting me up for a breakthrough.( Thank you). I always laugh when I think about the fact that G-d has called me to preach and I don’t really like crowds nor do I have a proclivity to interact with people. (Correction--adults or rather women). It’s hilarious to me. He truly does have a sense of humor as I always say.

^*Sigh*^…

Well, I have said more than enough. Surely this won’t be the last time I’ll have to face this kind of thing. It kinda goes with the territory.

Be Blessed.
Chosen.