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Survival of the fittest…

Yesterday I was having a moment. Granted, I don’t really allow myself to do that too often because it’s too dramatic for my tastes. Nevertheless, I allowed myself to do so yesterday for the sake of release. Yes, the preacher has the “I wanna give up days” as well. I tend to rant at G-d and then he politely reminds me of what I have been standing for and so I collect myself and realize that if I wanted minor stuff I would already have it.

I have to tell you that I have been blessed by the presence of some fellow bloggers. This morning I thought of something Serenity said and it I had to kind of chant it to myself. The both of us are in the process of purchasing a home and someone from my church home has beautiful home that they would like to show us that is only a year old. The purchasing options are favorable and everything. The only thing is…it costs less than the figure I know Father gave me. A lot less. And it has one less bedroom than I have been believing for. Now my husband and I actually agree that this is not the time to start settling. But for some odd reason I really want to see this home. Not because I am nosy or anything, but because It could be an in the mean time blessing. Then I remember that Serenity was talking about waiting for what she wanted. I can’t tell you how she blessed me with this: "I can't settle for anything less than what he promised and that's no matter what the circumstances dictate". That’s it right there.

That’s where I am right now. I know what he told me. I know what my credit looks like but I also know what my father told me. It was a rhema word. I know that what he says out of his mouth is a guarantee! I have been through hell and high water and I refuse to take anything less than what he told me. The enemy will have you get all worked up like the schedule is off. Nahhh…it’s not off. I simply have to figure out where the house he wants me to have and who to do the deal through. Truth be told, I don’t want a mortgage anyway! I have been standing for a debt free house and I know that sounds radical, but it’s nothing for the wealth that my Father holds! Shoot...Scripture says that the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and adds no sorrow!(Proverbs 10:22) Plus, I just heard a testimony of the bank turning down a couple and the same day someone offered them their house--more house then they were looking for and the people are paying all closing costs, they are carrying the loan themselves and they offered to put all new furniture in as a gift! That’s what I’m talking about! So why would I settle? The devil is a lie!

So yesterday, I needed that moment to put it all in perspective. The enemy is counting on us giving up near the finish line. I can’t stop now. This is a race. A fixed race. Obviously, the enemy has not read the whole book. I win. I’m always gonna win. I just have to keep running.

I did go to service last night. My spiritual father was on a much needed break. But the word was still powerful. And it hit me right where I was. It was all about the valley experience. That’s where I am . But praise G-d I’m going through!

On another note…did I tell you my mother has joined my church? Yeah. It’s been a couple of months now. It’s still vexing me though. It’s weird she talks to people and listens to what they say, but she talks over me. Ahhh…well I have learned my lesson. I’m happy she’s getting the word, but I would really like for her to get it somewhere else. I know that sounds awful, but our relationship is too strained to even begin to pretend that it’s not. When people give me compliments she gushes as if she is in agreement. I guess she thinks I don’t know her or something. Last night I saw her having a full fledge conversation with a woman I know doesn’t like me. Why I have no idea--I think it has to do with her children. She treats one a little funny and I just try to make sure I give her an extra hug and a compliment. She’s just a 4 year old that reminds me of me and my own mother. I guess something happened to the little girl at home and so she told her mother she was going to tell me. What? I didn’t tell her to say that! If that’s her reason she needs to visit the mirror. It’s not my fault that child thought she had to tell me something.

Anyway…I saw my mother having an engaging conversation with this person last night. It was dark so I guess she didn’t think that anyone would see her. Well, I saw her! I know they don’t think it will matter to start some mess, but I really don’t think either of them want to test me. I usually look past her, but she has been really getting to me lately. I'm trying not to get in the flesh. However, I thank G-d for them because they will shape me into who G-d wants me to be and ultimately promote me. Yeah, Goliath and later Saul promoted David. They helped him be a better warrior and ultimately a better king. But ummmm…I hope thy know some areas of me are still under deep, deep construction. My spiritual father has already warned us all of that with people in general. I thank G-d that he allows wheat to grow up with the chaff, but did they not read the rest of that chapter? Whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly purge his floor, and will gather the wheat into his garner; but the he will burn with fire unquenchable Luke 3:17

Stay tuned….

Be blessed. Chosen.

Patience.

Definition: The ability to wait without complaint, compromise and without replacing G-d with someone or something.

Today I am weary. My body is challenged. I feel like sleeping all day long. I have spoken every confession that I can. I have read all the bible I feel like reading for right now. I don’t feel like complaining. I just want my stuff. I am spiritually weary. I feel as if I can’t take another step. But somehow, I know that I will. We have church tonight and I am sitting at the computer in a dirty t-shirt and undies with my hair uncombed. I don’t even feel like moving from this spot. We had service tonight and I don’t even know if I am going or not.

Me, who never misses service except for illness of my children. I don’t miss for anything else or anyone else. That’s Shiloh. I go there to hear what the spirit of the Lord is saying. I go for confirmation of what father has told me that day. Sometimes, I get it and sometimes, I have to wait for it. But I always go. Last week was a particularly long week for me. 2 services on Sunday, Monday night, and tonight. Yet I am sitting here pondering whether I am going or not.

Someone asked me today on my blog about waiting…It struck a chord. I too am waiting. I waiting for finances, for peace and for deliverance from all dead situations. I feel rebellious today. But I can’t even muster up the strength to be.

Ironically enough I am in the middle of reading 1 Samuel with some fellow bloggers. I am enjoying myself with the reading. Often I find myself catching little things that I missed all the other times that I read these chapters. Today’s reading reminds me how important patience is.
You see the children of Israel wanted a king, so G-d gave them one even though they were out of his timing. He had already spoken to Moses that he would eventually give them a king way back in Deuteronomy 17:14. But because they were impatient they received a man who was both not ready nor capable of handling the responsibility of listening to G-d nor leading the people of G-d. They looked at him at him decided that he was good enough. It wasn’t as if he was someone known for his abilities in the kingdom. He looked good--he was tall, and good looking and weak. He hid behind the stuff when Samuel was trying to appoint him as king. He was already scared of the reactions of the people.

What I noticed about Saul today was that he really had no relationship with G-d. He served as king for over 2 years before he ever took the time to build an altar to G-d which represented worship. He had no real relationship with G-d. He was dependant on Samuel. So whenever it came time to make a decision, the text shows us time and again that he did what he felt he should do and never consulted G-d. When he finally got around to asking G-d, he didn’t get an answer. So he took things into his own hand causing the people to sin and finally causing the kingdom to be rent from his hand. Now this is what the people wanted, a kang….
He was neither ready nor capable of doing the job that he had been positioned to do.

I could swear I have heard this story before…(Told you I was feeling rebellious today!).

Ah well, I guess I learned today that I have suffered enough from being impatient. I could write a list of things that would shock most people but, I won’t. (As you can see, I might need to go so my spiritual father can lay hands on me with a whole bottle of oil!). I get the lesson of impatience. I am learning from that every day.

But I am battle weary today. I can’t carry another person. I can’t answer another question from my children or from my husband. I need….to cross over Jordan-Canaan seems as if it’s too far away. I need a breakthrough. So, I read Samuel today, but ummm…waiting is not what I want to hear right now. And though I don’t really feel like getting up, I must. Stay tuned…I know there is a word in the house tonight so I must press my way on.

The other half...Some things about me!

I thought this would be a real ice breaker since I have begun to think that I'm really not that approachable--even on this blog. I'm not in the clouds 24 hours a day...Anyway I got this idea from reading list of Sway's list of "I haves".

Enjoy! This should give you a wider picture of the person behind the blog.

I have...


--grown up a military brat

--Lived overseas--Germany (Neu Ulm) 5 years...

--smoked cigarettes and weed

--dated a crip (only to be stalked by him later on)

--been homeless

--been in a total of no less than 13 car wrecks

--had my best friend cheat with my boyfriend(in my face)

--Befriended a girl to date her brother

--contemplated suicide-on many occasions

--stalked a cheating boyfriend

--stolen items from a store (especially books)

--planned to run away (adulthood and childhood)

--thought about robbing a bank (seriously, if I thought I could have done it without being killed and serving time, I would've done it!)

--had a crush on a man (yep, I was married at the time and saved!)

--peed in the bed as an adult (I was 9 months pregnant at the time, but still...)

--practiced white witch craft(**after G-d saved me--I thought those spells were gonna to work ya'll!)

--cussed someone out and then told them that they better be glad I was saved!

--battled depression (as a child and an adult)

--contemplated being a stripper (If I could've found a way to remain anonymous I would made that money!)

--burned a boy with a curling Iron ( he was getting on my nerves)

--been the victim of domestic violence

--had provocative pictures taken of me

--thought of doing a ton of the things I have read on other peoples blogs

--been abandoned as a child for extended periods of time

--dated someone else's boyfriend and husband

--cherished the idea of posing for playboy half of my life (I can see the byline.."The Naked Preacher"--G-d loves you!)

--thought I was losing my mind--too many occasions to count!

Now, for anyone who may have harbored the thought that they couldn't relate to me--think again. I happen to be a normal woman, with normal feelings, thoughts, ideas, complaints, etc...

I read the blogs of others and I understand the struggle. The only reason I have experienced less of a struggle is because I have been married my entire saved life. But I still understand the struggle. Women tend to understand women period. I would be a whole lot more free, if I was allowed to. Unfortunately, the few things I would love to blog about are off limits. Not in fear, but because G-d is keeping me silent right now. If I didn't have the bit in my mouth...Let's just say, "As.the world.turns" ain't got nuthin' on this story! I could disobey, but my obedience is so necessary to moving forward right now, and I need the stuff on my altar! When I read, I am never judgmental of anyone--I know who I am without the collar! I am being held to a stricter code simply because G-d asked and I accepted. But I am still ME.

I love Sway's poetic voice and Djdivas candid honesty! Serenity has the ability to put it all in perspective in one paragraph. I read Grayse and Ebony, Cymple and yes even Fresh! I love ya'll! I happen to know that a certain blogger was pouring out his heart on his blog and he has been m.i.a since march. I guess sharing the intiamcy of his skeletons was too much for his wife. I see that there is a down side. However, I still intend to be a little less...analytic? I don't know if that's the right word. Hell, just stay tuned. I have a lot more to say!

Be blessed.
Chosen.

Walking with father... An Intimate portrait

Today is my 8th year anniversary since I got saved. I have been thinking the last couple of days about all the things that I have had to face since I made that decision. As a child, I thought getting saved would be the scariest thing. It seemed that anyone who got saved, had to give up everything that they loved and liked to do it. So I decided that I would have all the fun that I wanted to and then at 40 I would be ready to give my all to father. I had my time-line planned out. Funny thing is, his time and my time was two totally different things.

I knew that G-d had been pulling on me for some time. I can actually say that have felt that pull all my life. God has been my best friend since I can remember. I didn't realize back then all those letters to him and conversations with him my head were "valid". I thought it was really more complicated to talk to him so surely I was just "imagining" that I could really talk to him that way.

I used to think that he had to force me to get saved. But I know now he just drew me....

You see, after I had my 7 year old-"the curly haired preacher"-I was faced with a life threatening illness. I ended up getting sick and I stayed that way for months in and out of the hospital with no real diagnosis. Imagine having a 3 month old baby, a 6 year old and a 7 year old and being faced with leaving them, not knowing who would take care of them and knowing that know one would be able to do for them what I would. I knew my husband would need help. It was in ICU that on my wall at Baptist hospital, there was a scripture

" In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me."

Psalm 86:7

For me that was a promise that I felt he had to answer. I told G-d then, that if he delivered me, I would work hard to serve him all the days of my life. After being released, I went back to my job and I was invited to church by a co-worker. I joined there. Now, I have to tell you that while I was in the church, I was under attack. The devil was literally trying to drive me back into the hospital while I was sitting in the church. Later that week, I did end up right back in there, but it was that week that they finally diagnosed me. Pulmonary embolii of the right lung. My bottom right lung was filled with blood clots that was killing the lung tissue and cutting out air. I had 2 choices--hope that the blood thinners would dissolve the clots or cut off the bottom of that lung--that also included 6 weeks of hospitalization and 6 months of rehabilitation. I have to tell you, asking G-d wasn't my first thought, I was worried more about our financial future than my current health state. I was the bread winner at the time. And I had used up all of my time off in the hospital. But I reminded G-d of my promise. I held on to 2 scriptures because I was unfamiliar with his word. Isaiah 53:5 and Psalms 86:7.

I made a choice then that I was not going to have my lung lopped off. It was as simple as that.
My nurse in ICU told me that there were other women in the hospital suffering from that same thing as I was and they had opted for the surgery. I wasn't settling for that. Surely G-d did not lie right? I just sat there in the hospital, by myself, and cried most days. But I held onto that promise.

Illness shows you who you are really hooked up with. People don't mind you being sick for a while, but long term ill-ness shows you who's in your corner. My mother never showed up. A fact that I am still not able to handle. My kids needed her. I needed her even if we have had this strained kind of relationship all my life. But in all the months--no show. I realized then that all I had was G-d. He was still the only friend that I had. When I was delivered I made a conscious decision that I would hang in there with him. It has been hell. I even at one point turned back. Getting saved caused all hell to break out in my home. But it has been the best decision that I have ever made. As much suffering as I have had to deal with, and as much as I am going through right now, I would not change a thing. I can actually sit here and say I wouldn't change a thing.

Every thing that I have been through has taught me of just how big, bad and bossy he really is. So, I know some people can't relate yet when I say that whoever has to go for me to do what I need to do in the kingdom is fine for me. Only the crucible of pain and being forsaken can put you there. Some can only say that they know G-d is all they need--I know He's all I need and that when it gets down to it, he's all I have. People love can't compare to G-d love. We are deceived to think that it's the same. But it can't compare. So I have learned that I really don't prefer anyone over him. I like being alone with him. People fail, but G-d is faithful. No matter how hard it is, I have to press on. I can't turn back. It would be insult to all that I have been through with him and all that he's delivered me from. To turn back would indicate that all this time has been for nothing. That would be a lie!

So, I'm walking with him. And he's training me to be the warrior that he created me to be. I didn't even know what a warrior was but this is what he told me one morning last year:

Warriors are committed fighters. They are always ready for war by the constant study of their adversary. There is constant preparation and meditation on their eminent victory. Losing is never an option, but if they are defeated they begin to prepare all over again to fight that same enemy this time assessing their mistakes and those of others. They learn from their mistakes so that success is guaranteed the next time around. Being a warrior means that you have to pay attention and be willing to learn at all times. You have to be in constant training. You focus is central and single-minded willing to forsake everything else for the cause. Warriors fight while wounded. Giving up is not an option. Only overcoming is.

G-d has called all of his children to be warriors. When he taught me that last year, I thought that's not me. But looking back, that's exactly what I am. A warrior. I wouldn't want to be anything or anyone else. I look at people some time with their short battles and quick victories. And their constant state of calm. I don't hate on them for that. But I ask father how come I can't be that way? It almost seems unfair. I am always battling 2 or 3 things at a time. But he told me, every one can't handle the fight. He reminded me of when he took the children of Israel around the long way so that they wouldn't go to battle and turn back...(Exodus 13:7). That doesn't make it any easier, but I guess I understand.

So I'm walking...I may trip a few times and even fall. But I get up, dust myself off and fix myself because I know that I am on my way somewhere and he is right there beside me.

Be Blessed.

Chosen.

Post #3 Really believing G-d! Some nuggets I wanted to share.

I have to tell you that one of things that I love about father is that the journey with him is never dull. It doesn't feel good at the time that you are going through stuff, but after you come out, you look at it in awe that it really wasn't as bad as you thought at the time. I look at any period in my walk with him and know that the lesson I learned was far greater than the suffering of that time. It helped shape me into to who I am slowly but steadily becoming. I would like to share this story because I know that you will be blessed as a result of the lesson I received from it. (actually I am still gleaning from this one event!!!) I was talking to this woman in my laundry room a couple of weeks ago and she was talking about someone being able to access our building and robbing us. The devil is a lie! So I told her that they might rob her but they wouldn't rob me. So of course she was livid! I had to rebuke her. I was so angry when I came from the laundry room that I stayed irritated for several days after.

You see, if I hadn't said anything that gives the devil license to set that event up in my life. Those words go unchecked. We can never let anyone tell us stuff like that because tat gives the devil permission. Angels are the reapers of the harvest. They are anointed to carry out the work of father in the earth. That's why the word calls them ministering spirits (Hebrews 1:14) So without an answer you are essentially saying that you didn't mind that event happening to you. There is no comedy in the spirit realm. You can't say G-d knows my heart. G-d operates on words. That why the scripture says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Not G-ds mouth--yours!
Psalms 8 goes on to say that G-d ordained strength in our mouths the stop the enemy and the avenger. Most of us read that scripture and we get caught up on the babes and sucklings part. Our words determine our life and any the result of any situation that we face in our lives. This woman said she was robbed and she didn't think that she could be robbed. Scuse' me she said she believed that she couldn't be robbed. I heard what she said, but then she came right back and said contrary to her original statement of belief.

I have to clear up some error. Most of the time when we say we believe--we really don't. Belief is not saying I believe. That's mental acceptance. She didn't really believe that. She never took the time to sow belief concerning G-d's protection in her life as a believer. Belief requires work. Most of us don't know that and so when we say it and don't see the results of those words we get discouraged and angry. That's why some saints don't ever see the manifestation of his promises to them. I know that why I had a lack of them. Some people are blessed to be the receivers of others faith and therefore they partake in the benefits of the promises that way. But there is always a personal test that alleviates the ability to be carried by others. G-ds word is a collection of testimonies. It's history and information to teach us what is not only available to us, but how to operate in the earth like we should according to his promises to us.

Now when I used to say that I believed G-d, I was simply speaking words that I thought that G-d wanted to hear. I did not realize that I had to establish belief in something in order to see it in my life. That's why the scriptures say that asking believing it shall be done.( Matthew 21:22) If you don't establish the belief first, when you pray you don't see what you asked for.

My spiritual father has been teaching on faith these last couple of months and it has changed my life! He has erased everything that I have ever thought I knew about operating in faith, fighting the enemy and true relationship with father. I have been a member of my church for a year now, and it has been hell at times because the enemy has ran all over us! All that faith teaching we had prior to this was to no avail in those circumstances. We have lost a lot of stuff.

But what I am learning is helping me to establish belief in everything that G-d has said. So I submit to you the words of my spiritual father about faith and believing G-d as I have been learning it. The first law he taught us is the law of response. What you say when something unexpected comes up. What you say first establishes the outcome. Say it and let it stay said. Your response should be "wordified" meaning that it should contain scripture. I'm not talking about saying I'm rich and then saying I don't have any money. You just cancelled out what you said first. Saying you are rich, Is the word. (Rev 2 :9) Saying it and continuing to say it when thoughts contrary to what you said come to your mind. After we respond, we have to control our mind.

Faith is the process of believing G-d. We have a measure of faith in us, but it has to be mixed with belief in order for it to function at its highest level. The level where manifestation is achieved. We have to sow the word as it relates to what we want need and desire in order to see that thing show up in our lives.

That's where confession comes in. Finding scriptures that are relevant to what we need G-d to do in our lives and personalizing them. Saying them 2 times a day--in the morning and in the evening. That's sowing the word and eventually we will see a harvest of that we are confessing. None of this automatic. It's work that gets boring and tedious. But, it's worth it in the long run. But keep sowing. I just wanted to share what I was learning. Now that whole incident with the woman in the laundry room, triggered my desire to operate in the highest level of faith possible. manifestation faith.

I just wanted to share those nuggets with you.
Be Blessed.
Chosen.

Post # 2
Perfect will vs. Permissive will...How I understand it.


One of my readers asked about this last week and I have spent a great deal thinking prior to responding. Mainly because I am smack dab in the middle of this very thing. I have been telling G-d for months now that I only desire the things that he wanted me to have since before the foundations of the earth were formed. Now mind you, ignorantly I have been saying this and trying to figure out why things haven't gone in a greater direction for me. I have been struggling in every area of my life. I forgot what I had been asking him for. You see there is a common misconception in the church that believes that G-d has 3 wills. That's a misinterpretation of the scripture. It's really done in ignorance so much as it is because we want to believe that we are somewhere in G-d's plan. There is only perfect will and everything else. We call it permitted will. Let's examine the text again... And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2


The scripture says clearly that we are to prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of G-d. The "is" is added into the text by the translators (all of the words that are italicized are to the detriment of a lot of the text because it tends to be contradictory in some instances. But that's a whole other post if anyone is interested, I'll be happy to elaborate) To understand it clearly we have to go back to the beginning when G-d said in Genesis that what he saw was good. Good meaning that there was nothing that needed to be added unto it. When have we ever had to add more stars or separate the waters from the land again? After he created us and gave us commandments of dominion and increase he said it was very good. Meaning it was even better than every thing else that he had done.
So to think that G-d has 3 wills is simply error. There is only his and what he has made allowances for. As the first partaker of the message, I know what it is to know that you have missed G-d and to be anxious to get back on plan. The scriptures say that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord(psalms 37:23) Funny thing is no one ever finishes the scripture out. The scripture says that he delighteh in his way. That word there means that its to be desired. It's pleasing. What's pleasing to G-d will ultimately be pleasing to us. That's the problem right there. Most of us don't desire to be where we are. Happiness is far from where we are. We are content--meaning we are able to bear it until the shift comes so that we can really be where you want to be.


Now I am going to say something that's probably going to start a whole other conversation and I really don't mind. But we can't really be happy with anything but that which G-d gives us. Everything else takes adjustments. Often not adjustments, we almost have to bend into a whole other person the be able to even find a sliver of contentment. My spiritual father said the other day "perfect will is not anything that makes you anxious or angry. Anything that gets on your nerves or anyone you hate to see coming--that's not perfect will." You know this true because that's why people with money are still unhappy because they don't have that ultimate relationship that completes everything!


The Holy Spirit told me one day, "you ask me stuff but you have already set your mind to getting only the answer that you want to hear". That's how we believe that we heard from G-d on certain situations only to find out later that we missed him. G-d does not force himself on us. We have to have a willing mind/spirit to not only hear from him but to accept what he is saying. And a willingness to do it regardless of what it is.
I have to say this because this is what father taught me--We assume that it's hard to serve G-d. It's really not that hard. Because the scriptures say that his yoke is easy and his burden is light(Matthew 11:30) It's not serving him that's hard--it's coming to him with all that mess that we never should've been in the first place--people we were connected to that we should have never been with. It's destroying all out that out of us that has been deposited in us due to rebellion and ignorance that makes serving G-d hard. It's serving him while being delivered from mess that's hard. That's why the first part of the scripture says come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden--that's all the stuff we are carrying that he never gave us. Next it says to take his yoke and learn of him--that's what makes it hard. Having to learn his way while purging out our way which caused us to be where we are in the first place. Purging us and depositing him. The process is hard because renewing your mind from error takes a considerable amount of work.
When t asked about permissive will, I thought to myself that's exactly where I am now. Being in this place is uncomfortable but necessary because whereas I was stagnate I am now on the right track. Asking for perfect will is the first step. I ask for it everyday. Now I know that means that some stuff is really going to be moved and not in the way that I would desire for it to be done. But whatever has to be done is really fine with me.

I remember that I never thought I would be able to get what he wants from me. I could not understand how I would know what path he would want me on. And then I remember hearing one the TV preachers say that I should talk to father at all times--while driving and showering, eating. I thought how was that? But over time it has become second nature--because it's in us to talk to him like that anyway. This is how I know what to do. By talking to him in my mind and speaking verbally all the time when I am by myself. The more you do it the easier it is to know what he wants from you. Granted, sometimes I miss it, but he will repeat himself so that you can line up. I have had to do that quite a bit myself. But, he's faithful. He desires to help us more than we desire to ask him for the help.
I answered this because I didn't really feel as though I answered t in a way that was really understandable. If G-d ever allows me to be over people I want to teach them in a way that makes the word livable. Not 3 points and a close that leaves me with a ton of questions that I still have to figure out for myself through a bunch of trial and error. I have learned that if a preacher can't really break it down in understandable terms--what he is teaching is foreign to even in him.


Getting to perfect will takes developing the habit of relationship. It requires saying yes only to his way no matter how painful or uncomfortable. It means being void of an opinion of how he's going to do it, when he's going to do it or even why. It don't even matter. I realized I am too stupid to try and figure out his plan. It's my job to desire it and stay on board until it comes to pass. I have learned that only he knows what I really want anyway. All that I ever thought I wanted, is not what it was cracked up to be. So I walk with him--talking to him all the time--to hear what he wants to say and what he wants to do. I know I am on the path to perfect will--slowly but surely.
Be blessed.
Chosen.

Did you know...

I thought it would be fun to share some things that I found really interesting lately.Tell me what you think.

Did you know...
That platinum is not a pure metal but is a junk mixture? It actually has very little fair market value. It caused me to wonder why people would spend so much money on it, but the reason of course is deception. Most people believe that it's more valuable than gold.

Interestingly enough, when a gentleman came up here from Louisiana during hurricane Katrina, he went one our local branches and tried to get a loan on some expensive jewelry that he had purchased for his wife that was set in platinum. He was told that they could not help him. But that if he had gold jewelry, they would be willing to do an exchange. This man was able to secure a cash exchange instead of a loan for some rings he had purchased for his wife. Why?--Gold backs the monetary value of the dollar. Banks are always willing to buy gold. Now some one needs to tell all those other people that the platinum jewelry they have is beautiful and valuable really only to them. It's one thing to buy it knowing that fact, but a whole other buying platinum without that knowledge.

What do you think?

Be Blessed.
Chosen.

Post #1 Establishing identity...

I know that I have been missing in action for the last week. For anyone who visits here regularly, I do apologize for that. I will however make up for that because I have a lot to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Keep reading and you will understand why.

I have been under severe attack by the enemy in the last week. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I don't do rest very well. I like to keep moving so that I can get done anything that is on my agenda on any given day. I rest when the day is over.

With that said, I was forced to rest this week due to some challenges with my health. It was so bad that for a couple of days, I was unable to speak. Anyone here with children can understand how frustrating that in itself was because they try you on those days when they know you can neither speak, nor holler at them. I understood from day one that enemy was not merely trying to inconvenience me. With him, it's never about inconvenience. He wants to set up illness so that he can establish disease. If you lay down to a cold, he'll establish something stronger. The saints have to fight him with everything that we have available to us. The really sad thing is that many of us are simply unaware of the promises written between the pages of G-d's word. There is a promise for everything in there that we could want, need, and desire. We simply have to know how to tap into spiritual law attached to them so that we can obtain them.

Being challenged in my health this week, allowed me uninterrupted time in the word. I listened to tapes back to back, I read, and I confessed. The devil didn't know it but he gave me a Sabbath! A week long one at that! I understand that he simply wanted to steal my praise. He can't stand it when you praise too much. And for me to have the audacity to praise even when I still don't have in my possession the things I'm waiting on is really irritating to him! Not to mention that he was not catching me off guard for once in my life. Whenever prophecy is released the devil comes immediately to attack you. Check the record...In Mark chapter 1 and verse 11 G-d tells the world that Jesus is his beloved son in whom he is well pleased in. G-d established his identity and therefore his promise. Immediately in verse 12 Jesus ends up in the wilderness tempted by the adversary. He was having to fight the adversary over all things but mainly his identity.

That's all any attack is. It's about who we are. Knowing who we are is our first weapon. If Jesus hadn't established himself in his identity he wouldn't have won that fight. People look at the new testament without realizing that Jesus had to fight the same things we did. He couldn't be our example otherwise. He was God-but in a flesh body subject to things that we were as well.(Heb 4;15) He had to read that word to know that he was the messiah.(Luke 4:17) It's not enough to say you are saved and you believe it. You have to be established in both that belief and what the benefits are to being a child of the Most High G-d! It's not enough to understand that you are saved because if you don't believe it, you can't tap into the benefits that it affords you.

Case in point--when I first got saved, I really didn't understand that once saved, always saved. Being back slidden is not discontinuing church and returning into the things you once did. It's renouncing G-d. I had no clue that I didn't have to get "re-saved" over and over. I simply had to repent and move on. I can't tell you how many times I needed an altar call. I didn't know that all of my sins--past, present, and future are already erased. Cussing someone out today, is already forgiven. Repentance has to do with turning in the opposite direction, not telling G-d I'm sorry. When I tell him I'm sorry, I am simply coming back into agreement with him that I was wrong, with the understanding that I am already forgiven for it. The adversary does not want you to become established in your knowledge of your identity. Once you do that his days are numbered in his ability to deceive you.

I lived in condemnation for most of my saved life. I didn't know that was from the adversary either. I had it mixed up. Conviction is what we feel before we sin--that's G-d way of keeping us out of mess. It's his warning to us. Condemnation is what the enemy puts on us after we sin. He uses it to drive a wedge between us and father. Condemnation blocks harvest because what we are then saying is that the sacrifice of Jesus was not enough to cover what we had done. We are then lying against the truth of G-ds word. I guess if I had ever analyzed it, I would have realized the it would have been pretty dumb for me to only believe that all my sins prior to entering the kingdom could be forgiven, but not those after.

I said all that because too many of us still don't know that we are his children in the sense that he loves us in a greater capacity than we could ever even love our children. I know that it's almost impossible for us to fathom what that means, but it's how he sees us. What kind of father would see a need and not meet it? What kind of father would do something one time and not another? I'm not talking a bout a dead-beat some timey daddy! I'm talking about a father! If that's what you know because that's what you had, I admonish you today to establish yourself in FATHER. That means renewing your mind to in the word until you see that no matter what the children of Israel did, he always went and pulled them from their mess. He may have left them there for a while til' they got the lesson, But he came. However temporary they remembered what they just came out of it only to do it again, but he still went time and again to get them out and deliver them to greater things than they lost. It wasn't stupidity. They were children. He was so good to them after each deliverance that they forgot the last lesson. He was good to them because just like the father in the prodigal son, he was just happy to have them back. He loved that every time they called and he came they had called him--it hurt his feelings that they were trying to replace father with someone who neither could help them nor who could really love them.

We have to learn that every situation we face is his attempt to draw us closer to him. He is attempting to reveal a part of his character to us that we aren't familiar with. The reason why we continue to be challenged in certain areas is because we fail to get the lesson the first hundred times. That's why in Matthew 13:15 he says...
For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

Once we are converted in our thinking and we have true understanding of that part of his character--deliverance is immediate. It couldn't be restrained from us. I am so thankful to him for mercy and grace. I needed a new healing testimony. The other one is about 7 years old. And at the time, he knew this week would occur and I would really understand that promise of healing. Last time, I was operating in the faith that he gave me unknowingly and relying on the prayers of the saints. It's been a rocky road, but I wouldn't have wanted to have spent my time any other way.

Be blessed. When I say that--I mean it!

Chosen.