Saturday, June 17, 2006

The power of FOCUS…

In the last few days I have been on a big emotional rollercoaster. It’s not something that I planned or even condone for myself. I believe that it is important to keep your emotions in check for the simple fact that you can not make clear G-d given choices that way. Our emotions have a way of deceiving us into believing a situation is far further gone than it really is. That eliminates us from having G-d’s view on the situation. And since he has the truth, you can’t see what he sees.

I was so raw on Thursday that I went to service trying to hold back everything I was feeling. I sat that there, still as if not to move so that I could keep myself together. I was just thinking that the message would be one that I could take home and study and that since I was not going to need it now, I’d surely need it later. I was set--good information I thought. And then he started in on me. He didn’t address me personally, but it was me. I can’t tell you how much I love my Spiritual Father. I know that I am blessed to sit under a Prophetic anointing. When I went to my last church, I learned some things, but I rarely got any questions that I had from my personal study answered or an answer to what I was going through that day. But since day one, I knew he was my Spiritual Father. When he answers any of us--he always says, “I don’t know why I said that, but it was for somebody”? It just tickles me.

Back to focus…the thing that I understand from Father is that it is always important to never allow yourself to focus on what you are in. Although I know that, It tends to be a little difficult when your circumstances are speaking louder day by day. (and some days, mine are screaming) You have to at all times maintain your vision--without one we perish (proverbs 29: 18). The enemy is not sending thoughts at us left and right to inconvenience us, he’s trying to kill the vision that’s in us so that we fail to obtain the things that G-d says we can have.

Our vision needs to be written down so that we can keep it before our eyes for the purpose of meditation. When it gets tight and tough, we have to read that vision over and over so that we can keep on focus tuned in to what G-d has said to us. I have the most extravagant things written down. I don’t think that I can even ask for too much or dream to big. I am his beloved. The apple of his eye. His favorite. His chosen. What could I possibly ask him for that he doesn’t want me to have? Nothing.

In the book of Esther, the king tell her that she can have up to half of his kingdom (Esther 5:3).
That’s a G-d given response for his favored. The reason she was his favorite was simply because she desired above all to please him. He taught me something months ago that got away from me last week. He told me to focus on him--who he is, his character, his integrity, what his word says. When you perfect that, nothing can be restrained from you. It’s the epitome of worship. I haven’t mastered it yet, obviously. I do however try to keep a conversation going with him my mind all day. Last week, I was talking, but I felt like he was ignoring me.

The point is that our mind can most often be connected to your circumstances. That and G-d placing you on hold until you learn to make him the focus. Deliverance is always about maturity. There is always a lesson that he is trying to teach. Nothing is ever wasted with him. I love that about him. I was reminded that I am only in it to learn something and because on the other end is there is a promotion. Deliverance is on the schedule, I simply have to focus on the lesson and him until the set time comes.

The enemy’s plot is for us to give up in the midst of waiting. I can’t afford to. As I say all the time, my kids need to see it work. It’s not enough to hear the testimonies of others. They need to see it work in their own household. So, no matter what I want to obtain the victory so that always know that they were there to witness it for themselves. It’s building their faith and trust in Father as well. I want always be able to carry them on my faith. Eventually they will have stand on their own.

So, like Job, I am simply going to wait until my change comes ( Job 14:14).

Be Blessed.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Charting the course….

Now it came to pass on a certain day, that he went into a ship with his disciples: and he said unto them, Let us go over unto the other side of the lake. And they launched forth.
Luke 8:22

Every time I prepare to write a post I begin to wire with no holds barred and then I end up having to go back and remove things simply because it is no the time for me to share certain things (sorry). It has nothing to do with some deep spiritual revelation or anything. It’s the personal stuff that is transpiring behind the scenes as I write every day that would probably be too much for most people to even believe. Some of you are really gonna be shocked when I begin to peel the layers back--umm.. probably not here-but somewhere…

With that said, I have 23 days until my lease ends and I still don’t know where I am supposed to move yet. With G-d I know that is the proverbial “hide and seek” type of thing. I am operating the faith that I know how. I am packing boxes, and cleaning out mess. Waiting for G-d to reveal the secret to me.

He knows where I am supposed to be, I just have to spend time looking at homes and going through the motions while spending extensive time with him until he revels it to me. I don’t have a problem with that since this time around I want to make sure that I go exactly where he wants me to be. I know that I just can’t live anywhere and expect to be blessed. G-d truly is a G-d of places. He was specific about where he placed his people. Even in the beginning Adam wasn’t just anywhere, he was in the garden that G-d planted east-ward.

I’m trying to get to my own personal garden because Adam had everything he wanted, needed and desired in that garden. And since I have his testimony to remind me to be obedient while there, I’ll keep that word before my eyes! Of course therein is the key to getting there is that Adam allowed G-d to make everything that he knew would be good for him. Adam did not have his hand in the pot. So I have decided to keep my hand out of it as much as possible. I just want his perfect will in all things. I don’t have time to redo nothing at thin juncture.

Now, I have to tell you that whenever you chart the course for perfect will all hell breaks loose in your life. When you find yourself in a place where you know nothing that’s there is a part of the original plan, then you begin to do the shift and things immediately go in a million different directions. If anyone would have told me that at some point that when you begin to really walk with G-d, I would come under these kind of attacks, I would have called them a lie to their face.
When I freshly saved, I just wanted to serve G-d. And because he works so many things out for you then, you just go at it. Initially for me though I was under severe attack even then. It’s one of the main reasons why I did turn back for a minute. But now 8 years later, it’s supposed to be easier right? Well, I’m still waiting for that. But I have charted the course. I’m confessing my scriptures, looking at my pictures for meditation, reading my word, listening to tapes.

And I have surrendered. Whatever that does not line up with the course will have to go. It’s hard to do, because things never get smoother when you get here. It’s seemingly get’s worse. So I am in a very difficult place. I feel pressed and anxious and emotional. Whenever I get to a place that’s difficult, I write and I buy books. I’ll find a book somewhere and buy it. With all the packing that I have to do, Saturday I went to a sale at the library and bought a huge brown paper sack of books for $3. I bought mostly books for the kids and some for me that I have no idea when I’ll have to read. But they will be there when I get to them. And a bible. (I have this thing with buying old bibles in any translation--another post).

Anyway, I was reminded that Jesus was on the ship with the disciples and though other ships were on the water, on theirs was affected by the storm. And in Matthew 8 says that disciples were following him into the ship. I know G-d wooed me to this point, but as I say all the time knowing something and then dealing with the reality of it doesn’t make it any easier. I know I’m in some stuff that other people aren’t experiencing. I know that we suffer things that are common (1 Corin 10:13) But maybe not all things at the same time. I also remembered that though Jesus was on the ship with them, the disciples were still in a panic. I understand that G-d is working behind the scenes, he’s with me and I know that BUT…

So, today--I am standing on his word. Waiting for the storm to pass over.
“Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”. Philippians 3:12-14

Be Blessed.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Let the Battle be won in your silence…
From "Confessions of a Beautiful Woman" by Michele Rene Matthews

“…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak”. Ecclesiastes 3:7b

I have to tell you that I love to talk as much as I love to listen. And especially to women. I think there is a uniqueness to the view of a woman that keeps me constantly desiring to know the story behind the woman. I see women while driving in my car and I literally find myself wondering what things brought her to the point she is in and what advice or things she has learned as a result of those experiences. I used to think I was nosy, but now I understand that in my desire to help other women I find myself simply drawn to women this way. I find that completely unlike me because growing up all of my best friends were always guys. (Too many bad experiences with women. The wrong women) But that’s a whole other post. Women are natural story tellers. Our wisdom is infinite in the retelling of the past events of our lives and even the current things we are experiencing.
I have had a great friend for many years now, and I realized this week that the friendship has come to an end. Not because we dislike each other but simply because G-d has revealed some things and I have to heed him instead of my flesh. So, I find myself at a point in my life where I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I believe that’s a good thing. There are things that I am encountering now that I need to keep between me and G-d. I realize I don’t need the distraction of fighting off other people’s opinions because when it gets down to it, G-d’s opinion is the only one that counts anyway.
Day by day I have been in some form of a battle in my life. It seems as if it has been one continuous season. I understand the point of the enemy is to wear me out (Daniel 7:25). Recently I learned that some things that I had been waiting on would’ve happened if I had simply been silent when G-d revealed them to me. Telling everything to people also reveals it to the enemy. He’s not all knowing or seeing. He can’t work against you sometimes as long as you keep your mouth shut. G-d gives us a glimpse of our prophecy to strengthen us in the battle. What we do is run and tell it instead of being silent.
The are 2 things that G-d has been teaching me lately about my words.
#1 I have to watch everything that I say. I have in the past lacked discretion. I figured if it is my friend and my best one at that, I could tell them anything. Not so. First of all, I needed to keep some stuff between me and G-d. Only he can handle my truth. And my prophecy. You see oftentimes G-d will show us things and we are so excited that we then go and share those things with the people that we think we can trust. But Micah 7:5 says Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. **side note When the text refers to the disciple that Jesus loved being in his bosom, (John 13:23) it was not talking about him laying on his chest. That is a Jewish idiom that refers to one he trusted and revealed things to. That’s also why we see later on that same disciple being the author of the final book of the bible.-end of side note** There is a reason that G-d warns in Micah to keep our mouth. I have found that sometimes those closest to us don't realize all that G-d has for us.
When we share things, they are often not ready nor able to handle our prophecy. We are just excited, and they can be doubtful and even jealous. All of that released into the atmosphere works against our manifestation. Part of that too, is that G-d will not reveal certain things to us because we can’t keep them to ourselves. If you study the text on dreams in the bible symbolic dreams are given to those who repeated them. Visions and literal dreams were given to those that were trusted to share them at an appointed time. We don’t know who to really trust. Only G-d really knows who is really in our corner. Not everyone that is there now, will be there when we go to the next level. Nor will G-d allow us to go to that level without stripping us of those people.
#2 is that I have had to learn about speaking is that even if a thing is true it is not required that I say it. The Jewish rabbis teach a lesson from the Talmud called Leshon Hara or “bad Tongue”. It refers to any statement that is true but that lowers the status of the person about whom it is said. I have learned that it is not what is said necessarily, but the intent in which it is spoken. God warns of the same thing in Ephesians 4 :29-- Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Often times I have been guilty of saying things in anger and frustration. It wasn’t that it wasn’t true, but it was still wrong. If I had mentioned it in a different context, it would’ve been fine. But I knew my intent when I said it. I have had to repent. I don’t mean simply say repent. I mean literally repent. Often we say that without ever changing which is the whole point of repentance. G-d asks for repentance so that we acknowledge that we need change in that area. I have found that this is part of my daily cross.
The other day I ordered Chele’s book--"Confessions of a Beautiful Woman" . It is a beautifully written, poetic book. (***Big shout out to Chele--your book has blessed me!***) It has made a profound impact on me. Her piece on Silence spoke volumes to me. There was G-d all over one statement that I have latched onto. Let the battle be won in your silence…
That was G-d speaking to me personally. He reminded me of when the Jesus was accused after he was arrested he answered them not. He held his power in the silence that he gave them. People have said things that aren’t true. They think things that are not true. I don’t need to argue or try to prove my innocence. The battle is not mine but G-d’s. I know from him that the reason why our enemies are never handled by him is that we interfere by spouting things back about them. It’s as if we are saying he himself is not capable of handling our enemies for us. I understand now why David never took it upon himself to avenge himself of Saul. He understood that if he truly belonged to G-d, so did Saul. Therefore though it was hard he and even scary at times, he had to leave him in G-d’s hand for him to handle. I likewise must do that with every situation. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” 1Peter 5:7
I must trust in his care of me. In that I must let my words be few.
Be Blessed. Chosen.