Saturday, July 15, 2006

Things I wished someone would have told me as a child…
When I was growing up as a little girl in the inner city, I never thought that I grew up in the hood. Being there with people that I both trusted and that were familiar was just a common thing. I wasn’t a big TV fan, but when I did watch soaps with my grandmother, I knew that I wanted that kind of life they had--the kind of life that afforded me with choices, variety, options.

I like most children back then, thought that was only to be a dream. We were told by those adults in our atmosphere that we would be limited to the things that we could do and have because in their minds things were simply not as simple as our minds told us they were as children. As an adult I’ve found that for the most part, we were on to something as children.
That belief that anything is possible is true. We simply have to continue to believe that never wavering until it’s so resonant in our spirit that it causes us to rise up and do what is necessary for those things to be accomplished. I have come to realize that no one or anything can hold me back. If I set myself in agreement with G-d to do the impossible, I will. No one ever told me that as a child. I wish they had.

People always presented obstacles and reasons why the things that I wanted to do would be either hard or next to impossible. Tell me where is that in the word? The word tells me that if you can believe all things are possible to him that believeth(Mark 9:23). The word tells for as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). Genesis 1:26, Psalm 82:6 and John 10:34 tells me that I am a mini G-o-d. That means I have the capacity to create the life I want with my words, thoughts and my actions. The even sadder thing is that those scriptures are all based spiritual principles reserved for the church, yet the world is using them and being successful where we are failing.

Another thing that G-d had to teach me was that I am not being selfish if I am not willing to compromise to the point of my displeasure. How am I benefiting from you being happy but I’m miserable? People try to make you feel guilty and selfish if you think of yourself too much. The scripture says to love my neighbor as I love myself (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39). How am I loving me if I am hindering my peace and my happiness for your sake? No that’s me loving you. The thing I need to do is please G-d because if I please him, then I will be pleased and you can benefit from his pleasure of me. G-d does not have a problem with us being selfish if it compromises us in the process. He promises us happiness (Psalm 128:2). People think he doesn’t--but I guess all the things he did for Adam--planting the garden in Eden, coming to walk and talk with him in the cool of the day, bring him the mate that was in him (I.e. what was in his mind-using his rib to do it) that was all just some things he did for fun. He created the life that most of us are seeking now--one with peace, fulfillment, no lack, shortage or insufficiency. The life we like to refer to as “the good life”.

I have learned from my life of settling (because that’s what I have done all my life because I listened to people and not G-d) is that the things that I want--the type of mate I desire, the kind of car I want, the life I want to live, the type of clothes I want to wear--those things are from G-d. They are the vision that he has given to me. What I see with my eyes closed (and often now open) are my hidden roadmap to creating the life he designed for me. It doesn’t matter what my life looks like now because the things that I see are facts--they are not truth. The only truth that exists is what G-d says and shows to me. I simply have to wait until my facts are swallowed up by his truth. No one ever told me that. I wish they had.

The one thing I won’t be doing with my kids is telling them that things are impossible or reasoning with them why something won’t or can’t happen. I had to even learn how to not tell them no to things. I simply tell them, agree with me and in the right time and season, we’ll get it. They know that what ever they believe it can and will happen if they seek G-d for his plan of how to get that thing accomplished. I also won’t tell them to settle. They will never hear the words you can’t have all of what you want, you’ll have to let some things go. Oh, no they won’t get the “settle” speech from me. If they want it, it exists somewhere--all they have to do is be willing to wait until it’s time for them to have it.

Be Blessed.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Just thinking…

I know I have had a one track mind lately. Yep, I sure have--but I have finally come to myself. I wish I could say that I won’t mention trials or whatever--but in the future I am sure to. Right now I just want to focus on living the best life before G-d. If you understood all the things that I have been through up until now--losing EVERYTHING-starting over, being sick unto death, my child running away, my marriage etc, etc. Common things--because I am not the only one. Everyone is not as vocal as I am being.

For me it’s easier to serve G-d now. It takes some things for some of us. Sometimes when we think that we are making decisions he’s really leading us in knowing all along what it was going to take to get us to the place of no holds barred worship. That’s why I say all the time I don’t judge people for what they do in the flesh. We are all working on some stuff and will be till Jesus returns. Surely someone thinks that’s just what I like to say but it’s what I mean. Shoot, on my best day I know I am still altogether filthy in his sight because he said that my righteous is as filthy rags--not to be graphic but that text is referring to the type of rag a woman would’ve used…Yeah. So he’s not looking at me--Jesus stands between me and him--therefore he sees him.

Reading the prophetic books you learn that G-d places people within our range to do his warning when we are in error and we ignore him, but even then he knows we won’t listen. I can’t tell you how many times I look back and wish I had listened. But, again, he knew it would take all of that to get me to here where I want him more than anything else. I have had things and people I thought I had to have only to be disappointed.
I have misplaced my trust and my affection and my care often enough to want him to help me make those decisions now. But it took all of that to know that for now to be my hearts desire. I have played the harlot with him like Gomer in Hosea. Time and again he comes for me. Now, it’s my time to give ME back. My time, my worship, my service. I owe him that small thing. To think that after all the mess that I have been in and he still loves me and wants to do stuff through me is baffling to me. With all my inadequacies and faults and issues--he still picked me to do something in his name. Shoot, I ask him sometimes if he’s sure he didn’t miss the mark.

Nowadays it’s so easy to let G-d and his word go. I mean every where I go there is an attack on the word or on Christianity. I was reading on this man’s blog--who is in fact a preacher and he pastors his own church. He actually wrote that he did not think the book of Jonah really happened-he said it had “good moral quality” but he didn’t believe it really happened. What is up with that? I usually don’t address ignorance because that’s exactly what this is. If you don’t believe the integrity of all the word--how can you then teach it to people and get them to believe G-d? To Get them to know that he is not a liar like the word says? Maybe it’s just me. But I was really pissed off by that. If you miss it on that small thing--you’ve missed him--he is his word.
Ignorance is the problem in the church--not enough knowledge and UNDERSTANDING. Most of us don’t even know what we believe because we have sat under ignorant people and they never taught us anything because they didn’t know anything nor do they know what they believe. We just follow church doctrine that don’t even line up with the word. That’s why Islam has a greater amount of followers now then Christianity. Most of us can’t even argue the validity of the word to a Muslim. It’s just awful. The one thing that I appreciate about Islam--they study so that they know what they believe so that they can teach it to others--they don’t compromise it.(By and Large) Adding or taking away from the scriptures which is a commandment for us (Deut 12:32), acting as if G-d didn’t know what he meant when he wrote it or that he really won’t mind if I do this too. Too many of us are willing to compromise for the sake of something temporary. They on the other hand--(and when I say they I really won’t lop black Muslims in there because we change our minds too much--by and large) But they raise there children in their word, not allowing them to sway from it, they teach it because they live it. They believe it so much that they are willing to die for it. However warped that may sound to some, it’s something to think about.

All I’m saying is as Christians--we have to come up. I often think of the glorious things we could do if we could all simply believe and understand the same things so that we could get on the same page and truly do the works of Christ. That what I pray for.
Regardless of all of that I simply want to serve him. Not just because I need him, but because I want to.

Those were just my thoughts.
Be Blessed.