Wednesday, June 20, 2007

And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time.
Habakkuk 2:2 The Message

I had a post tribute to my Father or Fathers day all planned and written out. But for now, I’ll leave that as my love letter to Him and I will share it on another day. Today, I want to share something that He told me this morning, because in the event that anyone else is struggling with what I have to say, I pray that this will bless you as much as it did me this morning.

As great as things have been going for me lately in my professional life, there are other areas where I am faced with making a decision and sticking with it. Actually, the decision was made quite some time ago, I just have to follow thru with it and I have been struggling with that. I was going over the reasons in a talk with G-d why I could just continue with the status quo, continuing to settle in this area as I drove to work this morning and He very nicely asked me why I value me so little that I would even consider surrendering my vision for my life. Hmph. I never really thought of it that way. I was in the mind frame that I was going to making an unselfish choice for the greater good. I said that expecting to receive His approval on that, but that didn’t happen. I continued in this conversation or quite some time and for times sake here’s the lesson.

That vision that we have of ourselves, the one that we can close our eyes at any time, imaging, that causes us feel stirred, moved and motivated, is from G-d. Lack of faithfulness to it continually causes us to surrender it and compromise for things far less than what G-d wanted for us and surely what we want for ourselves. The lack of commitment to that vision is then a lack of commitment to self. We fail to find ourselves worthy of the things that we really want so we settle for what we feel we can tolerate. Compromise then, in a nutshell, is a form of self-hate. It’s born from fear which manifests as doubt. It also speaks clearly how little we care for ourselves when we do that. I realized that if I genuinely believed the promise of that which is to come, then compromise would not even exist in my mind. Thatthought alone is making me rethink some things. Am I the only one that struggles with that? Some areas it's not even that hard. But there are a few things that require something that I have yet to devleop for me. I see it clearly for others, but not always for me.

True love desires the best and gives the best, not only to others but to ourselves as well. This why G-d gave all for us. He expects us to give all to Him but no where does He say present ourselves as a sacrifice to others. If we’ve given all to Him, there is nothing left to give to anyone else. Giving our all to Him trickles over into all other relationships as a benefit to them, but that’s the extent of it. We are no good to others if we don’t first express love to ourselves. In order to be committed to anyone or anything, we must first learn to be committed to ourselves. I find that the more committed we are to G-d first, the more able we are to carry out commitment to ourselves because part of that commitment is about being pleasing to Him. Part of that lies in going in the direction He sets no matter how hard it looks or what decisions have to be made to get there. It’s simply another level of trust that has to be developed

In the midst of that conversation, I really got that anything that he didn’t originally give to me, He expects me to relinquish at some point. What G-d gives is good, blessed, and it always requires maturity to handle and keep. Too often I find that we don’t know what He gave and what we trick ourselves into believing that HE gave. I tricked myself for years thinking that and I have had to pay for that as a result.
If I would’ve had that same conversation with anyone else, I would’ve been angry with them for even suggesting that I lacked care, concern or love for myself in any way shape or form. I also confess continually that I don’t believe in fear or failure. However, G-d knows more than my mouth speaks and sees more than I can see. One day what I speak will show up but until then, I need to eradicate any hindrances to that out of my life. I realize that the biggest thing was not simply just my failure to be committed to myself, but inability to recognize that G-d’s vision for me—what I see with my eyes closed—can’t fail if I believe Him for it. And I guess I just be willing to take that big leap.
As always,
Be Blessed.

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