Thursday, June 08, 2006

First Works…Understanding the Ministry of a wife

Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. Rev 2:4-5

I have to tell you, I am not a hypocritical person, at all. I don’t mind telling people the issues that I have. I am in no way perfect. I still have areas in my life that are far from maturity. When I say things I am always the first partaker of the message. I never point fingers at people because

I don’t judge what people do in the flesh. We are all working on something. I am sure someone out there is wondering “what does she do?” especially since we have been tainted in our minds against preachers. We forget that they are people and they are subject to habits as everyone else. Though Jesus already told us that none is “good” but the Father (Matthew 19:17). Still we think that are not allowed to have issues. In any case, one of my areas of immaturity is the area of marriage.

I have to tell you that I thought I had conquered this thing a couple of years ago. G-d had showed me the things that a home should be operating in and the very nature of a wife. I did it well. But then some new things happened and I literally said the hell with it. So I have neglected some areas that I used to tend to as it relates to my husband.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to cook. I can cook anything. Cooking used to be the greatest part of my day. I spent more time in the kitchen then anywhere else. (Hence the up and down battle with weight) Bt I don’t cook like I used to anymore. Mainly because I have to prepare 2 separate meals and I just got tired of doing that 2 or 3 times a day. My husband is southern but he does not enjoy southern fare. He is for the most part a junk food eater. I like “real” food. Veggies, bread, roast (beef, never pork). I desire to cook that and he wants tacos. Now mind you I knew all of this prior to getting married. (I thought I would win him over to my tastes. But ten years later, it’s the same).

So a couple of years ago, G-d had showed me that despite all of that, it was still my responsibility to do it accordingly. And I did. Until things changed and I became angry, “I can just ignore you wife”. Yesterday I was reading SugarGirls blog and she confirmed some things that G-d had spoken to me and though I didn’t like it, I understand his point. I realize that I am too ignorant to argue with him. Now, this morning while in the kitchen preparing brunch--he reminded me of Rev 2:4-5. So here I am.

Now, surely I am not a dumb person. I know I should be doind things differently. But my “excuse” has been, I wouldn’t have done that if he had never--any number of things. When God gives you instructions, it really does not matter who is right or wrong. All he wants you to do is what he asked you to do. You can complain all you want, and he’ll ignore what you re asking him about until you HEAR him in what he said and get it. Once you slow down and shut up, and HEAR him, then he’ll answer him. But you not going to “over talk” him as my mother used to say.

Now I said all of this, because as a woman, it is my sole responsibility to create the atmosphere of my home. As a wife it’s my duty to do what is necessary regardless of what I feel. My home is a ministry. Ministry work has to be done whether I feel like it or not on some days. I am sending the wrong signal to my children as well. If everything else is right but one thing is off, they’ll pick up on the one wrong thing. Being a wife means keeping a servant heart. You are never serving people anyway. You are serving G-d. We learn how to serve people by serving him through people.

G-d desires that we “get over” ourselves enough to do all things as unto him. Pointing fingers if both trivial and immature. He could really care less about what someone else has done to you once he has given you orders to things his way. I have to allow him to deal with me and not worry about when he deals with them. I have enough to focus on with just me. I was reminded this morning that operating in maturity is being able to remain the same despite circumstances or situations. It’s easy to do all the things the way he wants you to when things are all flowery and lovely--the real test comes when you have to continue in the first works after the rose colored glasses come off.

I am also reminded that every thing is a seed. So I need to sow the best seed for future harvests regardless of what the field looks like today. I may not reap that harvest--good or bad--over here, but somewhere along the line, it’s coming. Our Father is so awesome that he will teach you how to exist in any situation until it’s time for your Exodus, whether it’s your home, your job and even your church. It’s not that he doesn’t know or understand what you are going through, but he needs you to do is to focus on doing the first works regardless, as unto him. When you look at it that way, it’s easier to handle. Being able to do it his way kills the flesh in that area and teaches you humility and meekness.

I am reminded of the children of Israel when G-d tells them that they could’ve escaped in 11 days yet they circled the same mountain so that he could humble them and prove them (Deut 8:2).

For me, in all situations, I just want things right with him. I want to have that clean heart David was crying out to G-d for in Psalm 51.

I shared this, because one day it may be of value to someone else.

As always, Be Blessed.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Learning from our Mistakes….

Okay--here are some questions that I was asked on yesterdays post that I just had to answer…
T said…

"I gotta keep it real on this one (hope you don't get offended). But I was JUST talking with someone the other day about how irritating it is for people who have already been "out there" and done everything under the sun to enter the ministry and to tell others "don't do that." In your case, you even lived with your hubby before marriage and I assume you're still married to what can one of your single "disciples" possibly get from that? There's no lesson there. Essentially, you received your "fruit" i.e. your mate while doing the "wrong" thing, so what would their incentive be to do the "right" thing, i.e. not shack up? But this concept is not exclusive to you. Heck, I have an uncle who's now a preacher who did a lot of dirt before marriage (like 3 out-of-wed kids), but every Sun. morning I presume he's getting up there telling others what not to do. Just makes me squirm a little..."

First off, I have to say that I am never offended--Psalms 199:165 say that if you love the word you can’t be offended--why? Because the word is the truth. Not only that, I really don’t have a problem with answering questions. When I was little my momma used to say the only dumb question is the one not asked. That’s too true.

The reason I can warn others about not being out there shacking and having sex prior to marriage IS because I did it. It’s the experience and the pain of the situation that causes me to sit at my desk and write to other women and warn them. When I was out there having sex, I was essentially giving away a piece of myself to people who were both unworthy of the gift and unworthy of me. Whenever I hear a woman say that she loves herself and yet her actions say otherwise, I know that she has yet to understand what real love is. Truth be told, if you even like yourself, you won’t lay down with anybody.

There’s an exchange that takes place in the act of sex. The man is taking and the woman is giving. You know it’s true because why else would she then do completely insane stuff when he decides to move on or cheat--she sits outside his house, calls him ferociously and hangs on to someone who can’t see the value that’s in her. Fornication creates a “soul-tie”. It’s something that really only G-d can deliver you from. As I said yesterday a woman’s body is not designed to receive seed from every man. You can be allergic to man seed. Hence infections and cancers--because every illness has a spiritual side. It’s really sad that our bodies then know that and we still are too ignorant to get it.

And yes, I did shack, club, drink and smoke prior to marriage. It was fun too. I have to admit. But looking back, I wish I was smarter. I don’t regret the things that I did because I understand that that’s how I learned who I was. It’s from those errors that I truly understand how valuable I am . You know, I hear “G-d is better to us than we are to ourselves”. A truer statement can’t be made in that respect. It’s like in the garden when Adam and Eve sinned, they chose fig leaves for a covering and G-d chose mink. We don’t value ourselves the way he does. All those people we have on our lists he would have never given us.

I warn women, especially young women, because some of those relationships I barely made it out with my sanity! It was those “soul-ties”. The damage is not momentary it’s a struggle to eradicate all of those things out of you afterwards. There is a certain level of death that occurs in you after a “hellish” relationship. I realize that some people don’t make it out alive. They die either physically or emotionally. I happen to believe physical death is far simpler than the emotional. The trust that was G-d given has been replaces with the enemy’s fear and shame. Not only that but as women, we are trained to settle. That’s what women’s liberation is all about. “I can do it myself--I don’t need a man”. Okay, then why does G-d say that it’s not good that man should be alone?(Genesis 2:18) So then G-d is lying?

You have to learn how to exist without one until the one for you comes along, but women were created to be cared for loved and to care for and love. We really are the weaker vessel. We desire to be strong, and we are. Weak doesn’t imply incapable but that we have the understanding that we lack something that has to be added back in. The strength that’s in us there to under gird who G-d gives to us. You ever notice how no matter what you did for a man--you tried to help him get himself together or help him propel to another level physically, emotionally, career-wise and it didn’t work--no matter what you did? Your strength was not designed for that man. But we end up expelling the strength that we were given for a specific man on men that it was wasted on. Then when you do finally get the genuine--if you are so fortunate and so few are due to impatience--you have very little left to give him and you end up treating him like all the counterfeits treated you. We were created for someone--that’s why The story of eve being pulled out of Adam is there. Every chapter is infused with a lesson to show us the way.

You “cringe” because you are tricked into believing that it’s hypocritical of people to have done the things that others are still yet doing and now that we’ve stopped, to warn them. It would be ignorant not to. We are battle worn and torn from those experiences. And I happen to believe that there’s always an element left behind of those things to remind us of what we went through so that we don’t “return to our vomit“. I myself used to “cringe” because I was not yet ready to let go of the possibility of doing those so I resented someone trying to keep me from them. It’s the enemy’s trick to get us to believe that we are missing something if we don’t experience everything that people warn us from. And G-d has others warn us because he knows that it’s just the enemy’s way of bringing forms of captivity to us.

And back to the shacking, If G-d would allow me to list all the hell I have been through as a result of my husband and I being ill-prepared and immature. We are both great people. We simply forgot to count the cost of our actions. And why shack prior to getting married anyway? If you are so sure that this is who you are supposed to be with, why not go for the gusto and get married anyway? The fact that you have to shack prior is an indication that you are already unsure whether it will really work. So therein lies the question--if you already have reservations why even afterward go forward and get married. People who say “we know we’ll get married eventually, so we’re going to live together” are really just taking a test run because they really aren’t sure. Shacking is a form of immaturity--whether it be financially, emotionally, whatever the case may be. Somewhere in that relationship there’s some doubt or something that they feel needs time for change so they are simply waiting on that to take place. If they are honest with themselves they’d admit that. (sheesh…I had to go back and read that myself) People who get married after shacking, usually do so, not because they really want to, but because they shacked. They don’t want to feel as if they have wasted this period of time in their life instead of realizing that that’s the reason not to get married.

Now, I wrote all of that to say, that you can not get what G-d has for you going about it the wrong way. If you are now “saved”. The word of G-d says old things are passed away (2 Corin 5:17). You should operate in the world the way that G-d desires you too. Not like you used to. Operating in the kingdom lines up with the word because G-d and his word are one. He is not going to get your spouse through fornication. It would be a violation of truth. Anything that looks as if it’s the what he has for you, will soon show it’s true colors. The word says that every good and perfect gift is from above (James 1:17) it also says that the blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it (Proverbs 10:22). If you study Genesis chapter 1 when G-d said something was good, nothing has to be added to that. If you got to fix it, repair it, compromise for it, settle for it--that was not G-d. You just have to be honest with yourself and say I may have missed it. What G-d has for you, will not require you to step down to the level of someone who has no covenant with him, and do what they had to do.

I realize that we are not perfect and we will make mistakes and quite frankly it’s because of those mistakes that allow some of us to serve him a wholeheartedly as we do. I write and speak so that maybe someone will learn from what I did, and to have to experience it. I say this all the time--I don’t have to screw everybody and get AIDS to realize that it’s real and that it’s painful and that it can lead to death for me to believe that testimony of those who have it. There are some things I don’t have to experience to believe and to understand. That’s what I hope women who read my blog will get. Some of us failed because no one did tell us and as it relates to the church, if you don’t tell people why and show them how to conquer these things, you waste your time telling them not to.

I know I was long winded, but I assure you I had originally planned to have a paragraph answer. If this answer blesses you, thank G-d. I have had to go back and read this post myself several times before even posting it! If you have some time, I would suggest you stop by Sugar Girls place and read her powerful testimony on this very subject.

**The answer to the other question about what “saved” is. Will be posted on my “Rivers” blog.

Be blessed--as always…

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

At the suggestion of Serenity I am posting this because I think it may be helpful to single people. I have talked about this before--but this time it’s in a question and answer format. It’s long--and I warn you, you may be offended if you don’t truly love the word!

Serenity Asked…
What are your thoughts on unequally yoked? I know that a general consensus is if someone is not of the same belief. But what about folks that are not where you are spiritually. For instance if you make God the head of your life in everything (at least you attempt to) and you meet a man who is going to church, but God isn't the head of his life and he's not studying the word? Or what about someone who isn't saved at all?
I answered…
I'm not an expert or anything, but I watch people and I study relationships that I happen to come into contact with.
When the word refers to unequally yoked it refers to it in all points. What we fail to understand is that maturity is a process. We should at least be in the same place starting out. Women have a tendency to pick people based on potential. We don't understand that you can't rise any higher than your head. The man is the head of a woman. If he is immature, you can't even work out of you the things that you need to overcome while you are connected to that man.
We also don't understand that G-d would not send us an immature man because that would be a snare. G-d gives us men that are WHOLE because in his eyes a man must be able to love his wife as G-d loves the church. G-d gave everything for the church. A man must be able to carry his household in all points. Biblically a man was the sole support of the home. G-d rarely even addressed a woman the way he addressed a man. You are supposed to submit to this man. How can you submit to a man who has not made G-d his head? That’s why the scripture says submit to him as is fit--he’s supposed to be submitted to G-d first! That's why the warning is there in the word and that's why he was always telling them about not hooking up with everybody.
If you think about it, G-d really only talks about 2 things in his word--loving/serving him only and watching who you hook up with. Everything else is a branch of those 2 things.
Going to church is nothing. It's just a place. But the word says if you abide in me, he'll abide in us. Abiding is a work. You have to read the word, hear it, speak it and work at living it. If you hook up with someone and they are not where you are spiritually, they will take you backwards instead of forwards. Even if you start out at the same place, you have to keep up with one another. Not just in the word, but in reading, learning, fitness. You have to maintain a level where both people can be happily confined in the relationship. If one doesn't do that, you open the door for divorce because you can't even communicate effectively. Your thinking is elevated and theirs is not.
I watch people go through this time and again because what they don't understand is, eventually something is going to happen that the one who was spiritually in another place will begin to cleave to G-d and they will resent the other person for their lack of cleaving. What's in you in a moment of crisis or pain or whatever the situation may be, will come forth in the form of the word and you will revert back. But if there is nothing in the other person, they won't understand how you are able to react the way you do. A man can say he fears G-d, but in that fear there must be some serving in the form of walking the walk. G-d and his word are one. How can you then say you fear him and you won't make contact with him in his word? So then if you don't love G-d wholly, how can you then really love me? A woman is supposed to benefit from the relationship a man has with G-d and vice versa. All the stuff we go through with G-d teaches us how to go through things with people. If they don't have that, can the relationship really make it? Only if the man catches up and changes. And if not, then only if the woman is willing to settle and compromise. But she must be aware then that she will be carrying that family spiritually which is exhausting when trials hit!
Maturity should take place in the dating stage over an extended period of time. Otherwise that person should not even be considered for marriage.
Then Serenity said and asked…
That brought on a whole other question now. I recently finished a book called Saved, Single & Having Sex by Ty Adams. She kind of pointed out that when you are saved, you no longer date in the same manner you use to. However, she doesn’t' really outline it in detail. I can see just from myself a change. But once I do meet a man, question is how do you date? Or get to know whether someone is where you need him to be with his walk? Last week that a man sat next to me in church and he was attractive, but I couldn't even entertain him b/c I asked him what type study bible he had and he didn’t' know and didn’t seem like he even picked it up outside of bringing it to church. I don’t' want anybody hindering me or pulling me back. I got enough of my own demons and past to have quite enough to battle.
I haven’t read that book and I have only heard a little here and there about it.
The thing that I have noticed is that single people aren’t being taught how to date effectively after getting saved. My Spiritual Father does a lot of teaching on relationships because as a prophet he is supposed to pull down and to destroy…(Jeremiah 1:10). 85-90% of the people that are married in our ministry will end up divorced in the next couple of years. That’s his job. Most of them are unhappy and have ended up with the wrong people and you know half the husbands don’t even go to church. In the respect of knowing whether they are where they should be--Can he teach you something from the word? Does what his mouth says and his actions line up? Can he correct you from the word? Can he take correction from you from the word? Submission is 2-fold. Both parties must submit to one another where the word is concerned.
First of all, saved women (and really just women in general) need to stop acting so desperate. You do not have to take any man that comes your way. Being saved should make you more aware of what you do not want because you had that in the world! You are in the kingdom now. Your mind is supposed to be renewed to doing things G-d’s way! That is why the scripture says that old things are passed away. Daughter’s of Zion don’t get their spouses the same way women in the world have to get their’s--by any means necessary--Just taking whatever comes thinking that there is a shortage. There is no shortage. God knew when you were going to enter the kingdom. Moreover, he knew that you would need a mate. He has been preparing that man for you! You just have to be willing to wait on what he has for you. Can’t no one take the man he has for you. You are not subject to men on the down low, those in jail, or broke men! You’re a daughter! A real father prepares his best for his child! G-d is a REAL Father!
Take it from a married woman, you want a man that is in the word and that has made G-d his priority. Your home will be a ministry not a deliverance ministry. You don’t have time to be converting no man, trying to get him in church, teach him the word, get him off drugs, alcohol, or keep him from hoeing! You don’t have time for that! The man G-d has for you is whole-he’s in the church, he’d dealt with his issues, and he will be financially stable. Women in the church don’t believe G-d is capable of that so they get anxious and they use the same tactics an unsaved woman is subject to. What about not being conformed to the mindset of the world? If you do it the world way, you get the devil’s man. He’ll be packaged lovely, but give him some time when the ribbon is old and the box is funky!
The reason some of us have HIV and have down low men in the church is because we got spouses the way the women in the world got them--without consulting G-d. Men are in there looking for women that are saved because as I heard one down low man say--”they are good wives and they don’t cheat and they have been taught to submit. So they put up with anything!” The devil is a lie!
The problem is with women--we don’t trust G-d in the area of finding us a mate. We think he’s going to give us something that we don’t want. As if he is stupid or don’t know what you want, you need and really desire. He knows some stuff about you that you still don’t know yet! With G-d you’ll get more than you asked for because that’s the type of Father he is!
I have been taught that in the dating process, you never spend time with a man who is not really a candidate in your mind for marriage. You have to limit the touching and feeling because it clouds your judgment as far as it relates to your discernment. G-d will tell you stuff but we often ignore what he says because our flesh is involved. And there must be maturity in all areas--spirituality, mentally, financially.

I have also been taught that if a man is not willing to pay bills and expenses in the dating stage, you can not expect his mind to change to that notion after you are married. Women tend to think that’s puts them in the same category as a ho? Why? The most valuable thing G-d has given to us is time. Why shouldn’t a man be willing to do that type of stuff for you prior to getting married? Biblical dating came with gifts. But you also never accept gifts from someone you neither like nor consider a suitable candidate. Ho’s accept money from anyone and anyone can have her time for a fee. That’s the difference.

Pray before accepting any date because everyone is not even worthy of your time nor attention. Thinking something about yourself is not being haughty. It’s understanding your identity as A Daughter of the King! We have to put away childish things…In high school we dated whoever smiled at us, gave us some phony compliment and looked good, dressed well, etc. That’s stupid! We have to grow up in the fact that we are somebody special--we have something to offer and just anybody can’t do it for us. Most of us just need to look at our record to realize that we are too dumb (yep, I said it) to pick a man for ourselves. Everything we have ever picked has hurt us. That alone should be enough to back off, and shift our focus. The theory that G-d helps those that helps themselves is neither biblical nor smart. G-d helps those who are willing to yield themselves to him and do what he says!

The point is not going backwards. You stated that wonderfully. You are trying to get somewhere. The last thing a woman who is trying to get somewhere needs is a man who isn’t going in the same direction she is going.
Finally, I have to tell you that though I am not single, I still get the picture. And please don’t give me that crap about “She don’t what it is to be lonely or needing sex“--Baby, you can be married, lonely and in need of good sex! So, that does not make me unqualified to say what I have to say. Still, you pray about all things, even what I say. And what you initially thought when you encountered that man, is the wisdom of G-d. It’s in you at all times to know what to do. Just continue to pray. When it’s time for you to get back out there you will know. I always tell women to focus on G-d and let the man find you the way the word says (Proverbs 18:22). You can hardly find a woman willing to do that. Too impatient! But impatience is the normally the reason for the last “Bozo” that you trying hard to forget, wondering how in the hell you even considered him to be worthy fiasco--Wait When he does G-d will let you know “yea or nay” if that is your mate. By way of a dream, a vision, a spoken word or just a knowing in your spirit. But that knowing will line up with the word! Anything G-d says or does lines up with the word. If it doesn’t, it’s not him.

And something about premarital sex, you do not need to test drive prior to getting to the altar. Women need to understand that you sow a seed in the flesh, you reap one. Your body is not equipped to receive seed from every male. Every illness has a spiritual reason. For instance--yeast=error. Something is making contact with your body that shouldn’t be. During sex, the woman is giving and the man is taking. You really are losing something whether you believ it or not. Your crotch is not the red sea preparing for Pharaoh’s army! We have to learn to take care of our bodies. I’m just sayin…..

And no I am not trying to be "high minded nor holier than thou"--if you are thinking that you are missing the point. I have not always lived or acted saved, or been saved--but now that I am, ther must be a separation in how I live with that of the world. Otherwise I am wasting my time. I said all of this because I have been there and done that! Yes, I shacked prior to marriage and I ignored every sent sign and every person who tried to say anything to me as it was related to my relationship. So anyone with that thought, needs to repect my "elder" status!

Be Blessed.

Holiness: the apparent(meaning your actions) practice of good conduct, superior conversation, and a good attitude--not the length of your skirt, your church denomination or your eccelsiastical title. It's your submission to G-d, his word and his way. It's a work. I'm still trying to get there.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Who I am…

I have to first explain something that is in my spirit that is personal as it relates to my blog. This is not a random kind of place. I started blogging because I was sort of practice writing the things that were full in my spirit from day to day. This is my personal space in which I share the word with anyone who wants to stop by and read it. Even if no one stopped by, I will still write it. It’s kind of an on-line journal of my journey. Now, I am a regular woman in a flesh body, but I don’t think about stuff the way most women do. Nor do I desire to. I have been changed into someone that even I am still getting used to. What moves some people doesn’t move me.

I LOVE the WORD. I love hearing it, reading it, speaking it, writing it. That’s just who I am. So if it bores anyone that that’s all I intend to share on this space…well, I am sorry you’ll be disappointed. But I realized that what I have to share and want to share is not the same thing you can get any where else. I intend to share my struggles, my joys, my family and me here as it relates to being pressed into what G-d desires for me to be. I am a preacher. It’s who I am. I realize it's not who I aspire to be. It's already in me. All I am doing is perfecting that which was given to me from Father. Everything else that I have experienced, was training me for the most pivotal point of my life and I am in that season right now. That’s what I have to share. Who I am day to day as it relates to this season of my life.

I said all of that because, I don’t intend to do MEME’s or talk about political stuff or breaking news. I only want to share some of my conversation that I had with Father throughout the day, the lessons I learn from the word that I study, the RHEMA I get from church from my spiritual father and how all of that fits into my life. Nothing else matters to me. I know some people say they want to live the word and then compromise it somewhere along the line, but that’s not how I’m going to live. I am either going to walk the walk or I am simply going to find something else to do with my Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays as it relates to church but I am not going to live hypocritically. I will not play the church game, spouting word and not living it.

First off, Father sees me and he won’t be pleased, and secondly, my children see me and they need to know that momma is going to walk this thing out no matter what I have to lose or do to and how uncomfortable it is to my flesh. (and it is uncomfortable) So if I get out of line as it relates to the word, check me! I appreciate that. I want people to be honest with me and keep it real. The word says if you love the word, you can’t be offended(psalm 119:165). I like truth.

Now, that I have said all of that, I have been on fire to tell you that last Thursday night, my Spiritual Father preached a prophetic message on the timing of G-d as it relates to answered prayer! When he said it, I felt this huge leap in my spirit because both Serenity and I had just blogged about that as it relates to obtaining the promises that G-d has given to us about purchasing homes. I actually had a whole lot of other stuff on the altar as it relates to his time, but that's an entry for another day. But he answered every one of my questions. I spent so much time shouting that I really didn’t take that many notes. Thank G-d for tapes! (And yes, I do “clown” in service). You would too if you had this man. He just brings it out of you. He really is awesome, I can’t even say enough about him. I do however realize it’s the G-d in him that answers my spirit. Still, I love him because he has yielded himself enough to be used that way. He keeps it real and he is blunt and you can’t be mad unless you don’t like truth.

I left with the understanding that we truly have to acknowledge Father in all things because only then can we operate in perfect will. Trying to do things out of season will lead to failure and struggle. Sometimes we are asking for something that Father is not going to give us until he gets the maximum glory out of it. He will also not release something while there is too much demonic activity surrounding that thing. What we fail to realize is that everything that we have requested is on G-d’s schedule and not ours. We want our stuff when we want it not understanding that things have to take place before we can get it. Sometimes we have to let habits go, people go, etc…You can’t take everybody in your life right now to where you are going. He wants to arrange our lives so that divine order takes place before those things can jump off the altar. I understand all of that. Especially since he said today that G-d is willing to give us an exact day and month. All I need to do is ask him when that day is.

Everything that Father wants to give us is according to season. If we get something out of season it will curse us instead of being the blessing that G-d designed it to be. See, even if you meet the man that G-d has for you, if you get him before G-d wanted to give him to you, the end result of the relationship will be just as if he was the wrong person. Timing is everything to G-d. He is a G-d of order after all. You simply can not get ahead of him.
So while I have been crying out to G-d for certain things to take place in my life, I realize that I must simply embrace this season of my life so that I can learn every lesson and wait for the things that he has for me in it’s season. I want to be purged of the things that are necessary for me to not only obtain the blessings but be able to keep them once I get them. I know I’m not ready for all of them. It’s my job to maintain the vision I have and that he has given to me so that I don’t perish. If you can’t see past your current state, you will begin to go backwards!

Yesterday, I was reading Luke chapter 9 and in that chapter Jesus says a couple of powerful things that were so personal to this season that I speak them to myself in uncomfortable circumstances throughout the day. V. 23 say that if we are coming after him we have to deny ourselves. We don’t like to hear that but I understand that one of the reasons people don’t truly walk the walk is because they refuse to deny themselves long enough to be converted in their thinking and then in action. I realized I can’t afford not deny myself because all the hell I’ve been through is for someone else.(Ecclesiastes 3:15) I have to take up my “cross” to those things it takes to serve Father-wholly--everyday in order to stay the course.


He also gave some notes on 4th watch prayer that can be found HERE on my other blog.

Well, all I can say is--I am pressing towards my mark. Come hell or high water, I’m going to the other side! I have made up in my mind that nothing less will do it for me. I know that’s not me but my spirit because my flesh is fighting that with all it can. I love Fred Hammond and he has a song Called “I want my destiny”. I think he says it best-- “…Can’t settle for , having nothing short of what you made me to be, you want me to be, cause’ I want it all…”. It’s not in me to settle in this instance. It’s just who I am now.

May you be abundantly blessed!